Brain Fart

Ya know i see there is a bit of an issue with my last post and, to tell the truth i don't have an excuse i am blaming it on brain farts, yes thats right i said brain farts..... I seem to be for lack of a better word... ah plagued with them and,  for the record since i know this i will just say... that getting ready for my outing with my friend the other nite was such a whirlwind that, i thought i hit send instead i did nothing and the post went from being pre-thanksgiving to post-thanksgiving and thats all that i will say on that.........

So i guess what i'm blogging about is about how i am sooooooooooooooo nervous about this coming job.. Ok i know that being out of work for 6 going on 7 months has changed my whole state of mind i have really learned about myself and have decided that i am not quite ready to throw in the towel in this Culinary World.. Mind you i am not a Food Network Star or some kind of Culinary Scientist or even a Best Selling Cookbook author i am just a Pastry Chef who is looking for that job... That job you have been looking for your entire career.

That job that pays you what your worth has creative playroom and authority when it matters most. Not to much to ask RIGHT?    RIGHT, it isn't to much to ask. I know its out there it is just hell navigating the job jungle.  I guess its true what they say  you have to kiss a lot of frogs until you get to that prince and by the way who is they?? corny i know but it still stands...:p..

     The job that i have an upcoming practical evaluation at has the room to do all theses things...BUT the problem i have with it and the reason for the nerves is that when i went to the initial interview with the owner he did some things that left me scratching my head a bit and having me question why i was there... First and forgive me if this sound petty ... pet peeve... But,  it was at 7pm and if you don't know anything  about the food  business here's your first lesson.. No owner wants to have job interviews during money making hour????? that is in the middle of service for Pete's sake i thought it was strange to ask me to come in at 7 but i went anyway  which lead to number 2, he follows with, they don't really need me and they are not really hiring all in the same breath i think which is  followed with asking me my pay-rate that i would charge if they did by chance use my services this is before i said anything...

  I told him i couldn't go lower that this $$$$ amount it seems so anti-climatic but it's true  ... Nutty right maybe right, maybe wrong, i guess i will have to see   I am going to have to tell them again in a more private arena that i need to make more than that unless they give me crazy hours because it all has to balance out ya know...  if you read the previous blogs you will know what i am talking about.

 So my point is that I really want the job.  I want to work as the chef at 1 of there places and  do the desserts for 2 other  places they own SURE why not this is what i want RIGHT?  Honestly KINDA, but i am not willing to sell my self short for empty promises ...lol... I don't know America,  life can sometimes throw Bows at you(that's elbows to the laymen)..:) and if you don't protect yourself  your gonna end up with a eye jammy just like that, ..  Pride all bruised,  licking the wounds, looking for revenge who needs that  all i have to say is FUCK THAT! For some reason i feel like i am  really going to have to show my ass here they want to know what i can do, I'll show you what i can do .Challenge!... All i have to do is make the best damn dessert i know how to cause that's where the ball starts rolling...

So what is the best damn dessert i know how to make

Cause where all irish MAN!

So kids it is the day before Thanxgiving and all is well, I don't think that i will get the bartending gig but i will keep trying. What was interesting is that the place i went for the bartending gig apparently fired the chef the same damn day What f-ing luck right? right.?.. Anyway my friend who told me about the whole thing said that the owner was yelling in the kitchen and then BOOM gone see ya later chef...and while the owner was sitting my friend went to talk me up and gave him my resume because the day i did go i only talked to the bartender there who was ready to go and long story short(too Late) She liked me and agreed to train me and then didn't know why she wanted to leave in the first place?.....So the owner looks at my resume and said he would do whatever he could to help me out in my time of need which is kindda now and kindda the right place at the right time type shit....  Having my resume there didn't hurt either So its her the friend who had my back more than the ones that are on the same continent (life is funny sometimes) she is a really good friend of mine that i have been  neglecting ever since i was laid off in may. So it kinda looks like i am going out to celebrate MAN!

So tonight America i am going out to be part of the biggest drinking  nite or a close second to Saint Patties Day ... Cause where all irish MAN! is the only excuse i ever needed!~ Oh and get this Im not drinking (that much) almost designated driver of myself it's different yes but trying something new ...So i need a picture that screams its the holiday's dammit and i have to go out and Celebrating a little too turns out when i doubt myself i should really be talking up myself more POINT TAKEN Universe...  Damn... I haven't even made my list for Thanxgiving yet i'm cooking this year ... Turns out i don't have a picture that screams holiday's ok then bringing the camera....... Hot Damn a Challenge!

Are you in the Unemployment line too Mr. Squirrel ?

As i sit here thinking about what random thing i should write about I'm thinking on the phone call i have to make to unemployment  so that i ensure my check gets here within 2 days... That right America i am out of work for 6 months no less, Since this post is not about that i will say that i am closing in on  jobs and it is close to impossible right now to find a job i will return to this subject in future posts....... Stay Tuned


     So i have an opportunity to possibly use what i learned at a bartending school i went to a few years back. I had just came back from Northampton and i turned in my masshole hat  and i was working at a restaurant on one of the golf courses in the area. I had fallen into a position i really don't think i was qualified for or i just didn't want. Fore whatever reason during said time i decided that i needed to have something to fall back on, you know just in case this chef thing fell thru. Just for clarity i have worked over 17 years in the business the business of food that is.. You know up until i would say the past 6 months, i was all about food, food books, food shows, other foodies..etc i even went to a tech high school for culinary and then to a very well known culinary university and had many jobs that in a nutshell started from the bottom and i have worked my way up I am management status at this point. But the fact is that I was laid off well not really the lady i was working for decided it was better to shut down her business whatever it sucked its over    " On to the next spot kid" in the beginning of summer and if you know food and work in the business you know that the college twits are home and need work and there are more of the men that jump off trucks because of the costal draw and the warm weather either way there  are alot of people in the area that are not normally here and jobs have been scarce ever since .

 In the past 6 months i have managed to just about give up on the hopes of holding a position other than line cook I have been losing faith in owners and managers who would rather hire someone like the last guy that jumped off a truck or someone that would work for less than $12.00 an hour and when you live on the gold coast you better make more than that ... but that's my opinion and i digress... the walls where to close, i couldn't breathe, People where not caring as much for quality as the did for quantity  and talk about self destruction I was killin it!...


 The funny thing is  i knew it, it is the way of the chef you ultimately just want to please people and you give and give sometimes til it hurts and then you give some more but, there is something about it that keeps me from writing it off all together I think it's the rush picture it... 200 degrees, a million tickets getting fired at the same time and your 30 min from finishing a 12 hour shift sweaty, tired, and spent you blast past it knowing the right thing to do every time it is a dance of fire it is truly the ultimate juggling act I Love It!!...So I get it, i'm all about the giving.;).

Anyway so i took a 2 week course to learn the fine art of pouring a drink and let me tell you that it has alot of rules....  but i passed with flying colors got my certificate which is actually a business card with the name of the school and the instructors and my name So i put it in my wallet and i went on my way......*FLASH TO THE PRESENT*...... Today i get a call from a friend of mine asking me if i would consider trying to be a bartender.  I said HeLL Ya Sweetie! I am stir crazy I NEED A JOB!! Because i have to tell you since being on Unemployment i miss having a job.. No Really... I have way to much time on my hands. Im a worker bee, A future Queen Bee its in my DNA. Oh and  if you didn't know it i will tell you now Im gonna be rich someday...So the job, what is it you silly girl? ..... It is for a bartender at a nice and small wine bar, what better place to start. Oh i hope i get it ... I can do this Right? I mean it's not rocket science... So there it is another thought process another post wow maybe this isn't so hard after all I will keep ya posted thanx for reading...... CHEERS! 

Curious..... Very Curious *scratch's head*

As i was on the fast track to changeling  my email address so i wouldn't end up with so much spam, a curious thing happened and i'm saying curious alot cause it's an important part of the story. Flicker decided to tell me that I have done this before, that I have been thru many names before deciding on the 1 that I was at that moment. The thing that was curious was the name it said changeling2012 and I know its just a name and sounds a little paranoid but why changeling and for that matter a big why 2012 isn't when the world is supposed to end, right? I have to be perfectly honest I don't want to be in that same sentence,, that wasn't very nice flicker..:( 

Thing is i never remember being changeling20 whatever, I wouldn't of thought of that, that's for sure, In no way am i putting myself down i'm stating fact. The thing is i think i kind of resent it a little mental, right? hehe, yea i know... So who's changeling2012 anyway and why am I linked to it, them, whatever? That's the real question. Or maybe it's the universe sending me a sign that in 2012 I will change somehow is that good or bad? and if it's a joke i  fail to see the humor...ok maybe a little... im interested and totally paronoid at the very same time. That's a new feeling.. Ok im done, Uhm.... Ok bye!

Sunsets in Ct

Today was a sparkly day..... My favorite!... It is when the water shimmers with a million little lights.. The thing that makes this a stellar day thou is the sunset that happened. I mean it was fire in the sky. 


I'm wondering about if people actually see these anymore. I am talking about deliberately checking out the sky besides making it an event to see one.  I truly love what it has to offer it has emotions, and character, and it inspires so naturally it is a muse.  


Ask yourself this, Are you gonna miss the beauty that life offers on a daily basis when your gone? I will.

Here i go!

So this is the maiden voyage of my picture blog.....

I have decided that I am going to chronicle my life thru my photography....

Maybe for posterity, maybe vanity, maybe sanity. whatever it is Here I go....